Fibromyalgia isn’t normally a word that I would associate with friendship; in fact, on most days I’d more accurately compare the disease with the devil. Having Fibromyalgia means a lot of things for the way I live my life; it mostly brings me crushing pain, awkward movement, sloth-like energy, severe depression and major bouts of anxiety.
It’s easy to wallow in the negative when you have a chronic disease that doesn’t offer any hope for the days ahead. I often find myself doing just that: pining for better days, remembering who I was before, dreading the 40 years that taunt me from the future. Fibromyalgia can easily become an epic sized pity party if I am so inclined; no planning, organizing or guests involved.
What I am coming to realize about Fibromyalgia though is that it has forced me to take a long, hard, and honest look at my life and reinvent the aspects that weren’t satisfactory.
I no longer live with a man who made his family feel terrible and worthless about themselves. I no longer drive 2 hours a day, to and from a job I felt no passion for. I no longer pretend that my kids will eventually just be alright or that all the aggravation in life would suddenly disappear. My days aren’t filled with overwhelming stress and my nights are no longer spent in fear.
Fibromyalgia has forced me the opportunity to slow down and appreciate all in life that really matters. For all that Fibro has taken away from me, it has in return provided me with a unmeasurable amount of insight and strength. Fibro has thrown in my face all of what was wrong in my world and gifted me with the courage to make it right.
The knowledge I have of myself is now incredible and there is an undeniable joy felt in discovering who I am as an individual. My growing confidence as a parent has a wonderful effect on my kids and the home environment, our relationships have flourished and I no longer carry around a deep guilt that I might be failing them. I am now able to pursue my life long dream of becoming a writer and for the first time in my life I am in love with what I do. I have a fresh perspective on the world and enjoy the beautiful things that money can’t buy like the sunshine, the feeling of comfort and the sounds of genuine laughter.
Living with Fibromyalgia means wearing the heaviest of armor in an exhausting uphill battle. I am thankful for the ability to look back on all the excessive weapons I’ve already left behind. This renews my strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other and continue climbing to the top. I feel certain that if I hadn’t acquired this disease I’d still be collecting and carrying weapons, just chugging along, and blindly losing the more defeating and terribly damaging battle that once was my way of life.
Related articles
- Fibromyalgia sucks! (fibrofella.wordpress.com)
- Learning Fibro As I Go (findfocus.wordpress.com)
- Pain… 24/7 (infinitesadnessorwhat.wordpress.com)
- Fibro UnFriendly (hibernationnow.wordpress.com)
- Winter Months and Fibromyalgia (theadventuresofarthritisnfibromyalgia.wordpress.com)
Ginger Couturier 
I recently had hip replacement surgery (age 54) and this is the first time in two years I have lived without pain 24/7. It does force you to re-order your life in many ways.
I am so happy that you have finally gotten some relief, it must be a wonderful feeling! Chronic pain has the ability to change us in every way possible, good and bad, I am grateful to be able to see the good sometimes. Thanks for commenting!
I am glad you are looking at things this way. Nothing in life is pure good or pure evil
It took me a long time to get here but I am here and that is what counts in the end! 🙂
I known what pain is like as well…maybe not on the same scale as you do, but I do. Living with CP is an uphill battle too. Though I don’t feel as much pain as I did during intense therapy and relearning to walk twice, but my back pain gets to me. I’ve just had to try and find ways to relieve it. I’ve found that massages and yoga can help though.
I love yoga but don’t practice enough, I rarely do it anymore honestly, though I know I should. I’m glad your pain has lessened, it takes a huge toll on us and any relief is good. You are a very strong woman and I am happy to have the chance to get to know you 🙂
It was just over a year ago that my divorce from someone who found my yet-to-be-diagnosed fibro an incovenience, that left me as a “lazy wife,” became official. We’ve been seperated for several years though and I’ll tell you what…it was my first step at taking control of my life. Next I called my doctor and demanded someone finally find me some answers. Just a few months later I have my fibro diagnosis and a new man who understands me, my fibro, and that good days need to be celebrated. After my diagnosis I took the time to give myself an all around evaluation and make some changes. It’s hard, but I learned so much about myself and the life I deserved to live. Glad to hear someone else has lived through the experience as well. You’re one strong gal Ginger! After all, that bathroom project was more than I might have been abel to accomplish on my own 😉
I haven’t gotten as far as divorce yet, I can’t afford it right now, but once I’m back on my feet financally I am taking care of that immediatly! I’m sorry you didn’t get moral support from your ex, but I am glad you have found someone wonderful!
Taking stock of what we have opposed to what we don’t have is really important and it took me a while to understand that but now that I do I am much happier. And that project, sheesh, that was my last project. I was in the midst of medication insanity and it really did me in. I want to do some other projects but since stopping the meds I have zero energy. At least I can think almost straight now. That stuff really messed me up for a good 6 months, lol!
This is so well written! Bravo for making difficult decisions in the midst of fibro suffering! : ) I’m belssed to have a husband that (usually) understands, although we’ve been going through a rough patch lately. It makes everything else so much harder to deal with when personal relationships are strained because of chronic illness.
It’s wonderful and motivating to read about how you’ve shed all the excess baggage. When dealing with everything else there simply isn’t energy to waste on all the negative things, anyway! I’m glad you stopped by my blog so I could find my way back here, Ginger. I look forward to hearing more about your journey as you go.
Take care! 🙂
Thank you for returning the visit! I’m sorry that you are gong through a rough patch and I do hope it will smooth out quickly.
Our personal relationships really do have an affect on the way we feel and even our outlook in many ways. I am lucky to have a handful of family and friends that are supportive and encouraging, even if they don’t really understand exactly what I’m feeling, they certainly always try.
I also feel very lucky that I am getting the opportunity to meet more and more people with Fibro through the internet and that really helps me keep my hopes up.
Sometimes I am grumpy and feel sorry for myself but I am really trying to focus on the good in life. It’s hard to feel positive all of the time, but when I am feeling bad, it seems so much easier to snap out of because I know I have many things to be happy about 🙂
I look forward to getting to know you and thank you again for stopping by and also for your lovely comment!
You’re more than welcome! I’m glad to have ‘found’ you out in internet-land and look forward to reading more of your posts and getting to know you better! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your inspiring outlook and attitude!!
Hope the upcoming week is fantastic! 🙂
Hi Ginger, I was glad to read that you now have a positive outlook on life. I was diagnosed with fibro 5 years ago and know what a monster it can be. Sometimes we feel like we’re alone and it’s nice to have fellow fibro-friends. So I thought I’d introduce myself! I’m enjoying reading your blog and will be following you. ~ Dawn ~
I couldn’t agree with you more about having fibro friends, there is a lot of strength in numbers and being to understand and be understood! It’s great to meet you Dawn, I look forward to getting to know you 🙂
How wonderful you’ve already reached this point of acceptance, Ginger. I’ve lived with it for nearly twenty years, and I only reached that point about a year ago.
On the days when the pain is too much, or I didn’t sleep because of it, I used to get really depressed and frustrated. Now, I think, okay, so, what Can I do today?
Love your blog.
Thanks, I hope I can keep this mentalitiy up! It sure does make me feel much happier 🙂
I am always depressed but I am continually trying to push the sadness and fears aside with a different perspective. Sometimes it doesn’t work and I just have to accept that sad is what I am feeling. I find distracting myself with funny movies, a good magazine or a quick chat with a friend helps make the time go by and lift my spirits, too.
Thanks for being so sweet, you really made me do a cheesey smile 😀
Ginger, your pain makes me want to cry. Your second to last paragraph makes me smile, and yet I wonder…
Why must we suffer to find such joy?
Perhaps we would not appreciate it as much if we hadn’t? I don’t know. I only wish we could bypass the ugly and find the goodness without the pain.
xo,
Lynda
What a beautiful, inspiring and encouraging post. Thank you for giving me more strength and hope to face the world today.
Thank you! I’m glad I could help 🙂