Co-Sleeping Equals No Sleeping

Our youngest, who’s almost six months old, sure loves hijacking our bed sleeping with us. This was nice for a little while, but now it’s just annoying. Sure, it was fun in the beginning, and it felt nice to have him snuggle with us, but after a few months, co-sleeping has become a literal pain in the neck.

My neck hurts.

Like me, baby boy loves to snuggle. and stretch out. simultaneously. and he’s really good at it. He does this in such a way that I often wake up finding myself half-way off of the bed while his head is buried in my neck and his little feet are pressed firm against BF’s chest.


Aside from the bed hog hogging the bed, he likes to wake up frantically in “starving to death” mode, every three hours. Baby boy then nurses for 8 seconds before falling back asleep while I am left to lay the most uncomfortable way possible.

BF and I are realizing how ridiculous this has become and want to move him to his crib so we can snuggle with each other. And sleep. On the bed. It’s not that we don’t love baby boy, we just love (and miss) un-sore necks and unbroken sleep. So, we are making a plan to sleep train our little monster. It will be lovely when he sleeps in his crib. By himself. Hopefully, our plan will work and we will all sleep comfortably through the night.


25 thoughts on “Co-Sleeping Equals No Sleeping

  1. First you thinks its fun. El thinks its fun too. You want to sleep all night. El wants to sleep for a few hours then be reassured. Good luck getting a full night’s sleep for a few months till El gets used to sleeping alone. ( Oh, to have those troubles again. They were good times.)

  2. How do you plan to make the transition? I am desperate to do the same. It’s been almost 10 months of bedsharing for me now, and I’ve HAD IT. My nipples are raw from being used all night, my back hurts, etc…I want my bed back! I just don’t know how to put her in her crib without tears. Lots of them. I feel your pain!

    1. You know what, Lindsay.. I don’t know yet, but I am going to figure it out. I am supposed to be researching this today and then we will try out what I find.

      When my daughter was an infant (I don’t remember how old she was, maybe 8-10 months) I tried something and it worked the first night and stayed working forever. It was something like putting her in her crib, letting her cry, but not picking her up, and taking a step away towards the door after every so many minutes. It worked, but I can’t remember all of the details! If I can find that or something similar I’ll share the link with you.

      I don’t want to do a full fledged “cry it out” I know that for sure, but I think there will be crying no matter what. I guess it will depend on us if it’s them or us who will cry πŸ˜‰

  3. I think that is the right way but check to see if he is wet before walking away. But a mother knows intuitively if the baby is sick, hungry etc…so also have faith in your intuitionand instincts. The reassurance of your presence, your calm voice( singing?)is all good….I used a tape recording of quiet songs and lullabies by Raffi turned on low at bedtime as a conditioned response.

    1. I think music is a good idea, that might work. My sister had given me a white noise stuffed animal, which he responded to a little when he was a newborn, but since hasn’t enjoyed too much. There are different settings on it though, I might try a different sound and see if that works.

      Thanks for the great suggestion!

  4. I think the idea of a CD playing softly is wonderful–does baby boy like to be sung to? Like music playing? Then background sounds might be perfect. You could even try ocean sounds (or any of the other white noise sounds out there like rain, whales, porpoises, etc), and maybe they would help. Word of advice–if the sounds don’t work for baby then at least use them for yourself and BF–you will need something to distract you from the crying that will be going on. Also, remember the need to be patient during this transition…if your little one has NEVER slept alone before why should we expect him to suddenly embrace this new way of life when he is not the one who minds the current arrangement? However you decide to do this I know that you will find a kind and gentle way to make the transition (because I’m pretty sure that you have a kind and gentle soul), and one day soon you will once again be in bed without a “threesome” (which probably sounds a lot sexier than it is in reality, right?).

    1. Your comment made me chuckle, Sylvia!

      BF and I are very patient and I think that is why this has carried on for as long as it has πŸ™‚

      We are always soothing him to sleep with nursing, his swing, or his vibrating bouncy seat. These all work great, but I think he needs to learn self-soothing and falling asleep on his own.Once he gets that down hopefully he will stay asleep on his own πŸ™‚

      I think I’ll will try our white noise machine for naps in his crib, if he is good with that it might give him the confidence to sleep alone at night.

  5. Good Luck to you and your sore neck and breasts. We are getting ready to fall back into that routine in a few weeks when the next baby comes. I did not have bed hogs so it was not too bad. My suggestion is to nurse E, then wrap and put into bed. I used to put my hand on their back or chest, and slowly pull my hand back and creep out of the room. I also had a heart beat bear that I turned on as soon as I put them in their basket right by their head. If E wakes up then decide if it is time to nurse, if not than go and hold the baby’s back or chest until they relax and then creep back out of the room. I read a few books and they sounded so harsh I could not imagine doing it. Crying it out would be torture for me I had to find something less hard for our family. Good luck to you!

    1. If I remember correctly, using my hand on my daughters back helped her. I seem to remember it only taking one night to train her, I really wish I remembered all of the details, it was just so long ago! When he was a newborn he loved to be swaddled, but he woke up as soon as we would put him in his bassinet.

      The heart bear sounds like a very good idea, I have a white noise giraffe that I will try. It doesn’t have a heartbeat sound, but maybe one of the others will work.

      Thanks for your suggestions and congratulations on your upcoming arrival! I didn’t realize you were expecting, I’m thrilled for you πŸ™‚

  6. My daughter is 12 months, and when she was around your baby’s age, she co-slept with us, too. As she got bigger and moved around more, it became more uncomfortable for us. So I put her in her crib, but I put the crib by our bed. This way I was comfortable with her still being close and she knew we were still in the room. This helped her transition from being in our bed to sleeping in her own crib.

    When my husband and I researched co-sleeping methods, we discovered co-sleeping doesn’t just mean your child sleeps in bed with you. Co-sleeping can be so diverse, whether you let your baby fall asleep in bed with you and then move him to the crib or your baby’s crib is in your bedroom. You just have to find what works for you, as you are already doing. πŸ™‚

    I hope you find a sleep method that works for your family. πŸ™‚

    (Also, I play soft instrumental music, too.)
    Good luck! πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you for relating to me on this post, it means a lot that you offered some advice that recently worked for you! We have a bassinet next to our bed, but as soon as he goes in he wakes up. I think the issue there is that we soothe him to sleep, instead of letting him do that on his own. When he wakes up he wants us to do it again!

      Do you have any tips on how you got her to fall asleep on her own? I’d really appreciate your advice πŸ™‚

      1. Oh, I do know how you feel!! It is definitely a challenge.

        We soothe our baby to sleep, too. My husband rocks her. Sometimes I put her beside me in bed until she falls asleep. Sometimes when I hold her and feed her she falls asleep instantly. It all depends on her, really.

        We are working with her on falling asleep on her own. I’ll be honest, it has been a challenge. I wish I could offer a speedy resolution.

        What is working for us right now is my husband and I take turns helping her, especially if one of us gets a little frustrated. Soft instrumental music. Letting her be close to us and after she falls asleep put her in her crib. She does wake up sometimes. And the process repeats itself. I’ve tried letting her cry it out, but I end up caving because I feel bad. Lol

        I’m learning to have patience with my daughter and I remind myself she needs me right now. Soon she will be independent and I will miss these moments.

        I hope I’ve helped a little. Don’t worry. It will happen. Just be patient and don’t be hard on yourself. He loves you very much and it will all work out! πŸ™‚

        1. Thanks, Jenn! I appreciate you taking the time to offer more suggestions. I agree with you on the cry it out thing, I feel bad also when he cries. I want him to feel secure, and he isn’t a big crier, so when he does cry, it’s usually for a good reason.

          You have helped tremendously, I don’t feel so alone with these issues and I don’t feel like a pushover by not making him cry it out. I will definitely be trying the music suggestion. There have been a lot of suggestions for that, so I think it is a safe bet!

          I hope we both will be able to figure out how to get them to fall asleep on their own soon πŸ™‚ Thanks again for commenting and your great advice!

          1. You’re very welcome! Oh no, you are not a pushover. Don’t ever think that! Just know your baby needs you and loves you very much. Nothing wrong with holding him or cuddling with him to get him to sleep. He just loves you so much that’s why he wants to be around you all the time. You’re his first love!
            But I do know a good night’s rest is greatly needed in order to function. Lol
            One other thing I forgot to mention, I try to take naps with my baby. It really helps.
            Hope you are getting good rest!

  7. You reminded me of my son when he was a baby. He was “and still is” a messy sleeper! if you check on him a couple of times during the night you will find him sleeping horizontally or diagonally on the bed and sometimes I even find his feet on the pillow !
    Good luck with the sleep training Ginger πŸ™‚

    1. That is too funny Sawsan! It really is amazing how soon their personalities and natures come into play. This makes me think El will be a wrestler in his sleep like your son is when he is older.

  8. I understand your frustration completely. We use a side-car cot, so her cot only has three sides and the fourth side is against our bed. Every night she ends up in our bed, because I’m too tired to keep moving over to her, but at least I get to start out the night alone. Might be an idea for you? All the best πŸ™‚

    1. We have a bassinet that is just as you described, but we have a low platform bed, so the side of it can’t be put down (the bassinet sits higher than our mattress).

      We actually just pulled the bassinet back out, hoping it would be something he liked now that he is bigger, but once he realizes he is in his own space he wakes up and starts rolling over and will fuss if we don’t bring him to us.

      How old is your daughter? They seem to be doing the exact thing! Like you, we usually start off alone, but then when he wakes up a few hours later the hogging begins.

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