It’s Been Some Sort of Time

If you asked me what I’ve been up to, I suppose I’d say I’ve been getting stronger. And that’s the truth. I haven’t touched a camera in months, I haven’t collapsed and died, nor have I wanted to. I’ve been working hard, picking up the pieces, collecting new and moving along at an earth shattering speed. Well, for me at least.

I’m still waiting for the perfect job to come my way, but slowly realizing that it won’t just knock on my door. I haven’t written in God knows how long. I haven’t given up on my dreams. I’ve been absorbed in them, soaked to the bone. Huz still tries to bully me around, he knows I have a new man and tries to make me feel like shit about it. He told me he missed me. My therapist said he misses being able to control me. I know she is right.

I told him for a long time what I needed from him, he told me I was crazy and unrealistic. He said I’d never be happy.

He was wrong.

I’m in threat of losing my home and I’ve never been happier.

I am free.

I am looking for work. Perhaps I am unrealistic in my efforts, and still limping on the sidelines, but I have faith. In myself, in the universe, in God.

I know I will find my way and all of these lessons I will never forget.

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25 thoughts on “It’s Been Some Sort of Time

  1. So glad to hear you are still alive out there, slugging it out with life. Keep swinging! You’re doing great. P.s. Job hunting sucks but the right thing is on its way to you right this very minute. Just be patient. It’s coming!

  2. It is so good to see a post from you πŸ™‚
    I am glad that you are happier and that you see huz’s bullying for what it really is and you are not falling for his games.
    I pray things will work out soon with work..my dad keeps saying it is darkest before the dawn..just keep looking and don’t give up
    sending you warm wishes and a virtual hug

    1. I really feel something is coming… Whst it is yet, I do not know, but it’s right around the corner. Big hugs to you too, baby girl.. I couldn’t be prouder!

  3. Hi Ginger…I am SO happy to hear from you…You have been in my thoughts now for a long time…I am thankful that you didn’t just disappear from us altogether and am also happy to hear that you are trying out a new relationship.

    Keep us up to date now so that I don’t get stressed again…I don’t like it when bad things happen to good people I know (even if I only know them online)…

    Take care,
    Sylvia

    1. Hi Sylvia, I really miss you very much. I’ve been finding myself. A girl I never got the chance to know. That may sound crazy to some, but I have been taking care of everyone but me forever. It’s high time to know myself. I thought of abandoning this place, I wanted to make all of the muck a yuck disappear, but that wold just take away from who I am, now would’t it?
      I’m doing better. So much better.

  4. Hello Ginger! So happy to see a post from you, and glad to know we haven’t seen you because you were too busy living life. I’m sorry about your house, but glad you are in a healthy relationship. You are such a survivor! ~ Lynda

    1. If only I could make a regular habit of it πŸ™‚ The strength comes and it goes. I have far more strong days than weak ones though, that is certain. I hope you are well!

  5. Hi Ginger, glad to see your writing again, I dropped you an email, its very lonely at 3am when Mr Fibro says I am not allowed to sleep.

    Very happy to see you God bless

    Pete. πŸ™‚

    1. Hi Pete,
      I’m sorry I haven’t replied to your email. I am also sorry you are dealing with insomnia. Does it ever go away for you? I finally saw my doctor and he gave me sleep meds. I had been struggling for a good few months but it has been much better lately. I’m still not regular but is there even such a thing when it comes to fibro?
      I’ll try to reply soon and I owe a visit to your page! Sweet dreams my friend, they will come one night, cherish them πŸ˜‰

      1. Hiya Ginger, its ok no rush, just when you get the urge to reply.
        It’s not just the fibro that keeps me awake, the arthritis my future as walking has become very difficult and thinking what am I going to do when my mobility has come to the point of no return, finally due to damage to my spine the spinal cord is being threatened, bladder control has now become a large problem with disposible diapers plays an necessary part of my night time routine. It’s rather strange really I think, because they feel ‘normal’ I don’t feel my bladder empty, just the warmth, reminds me the saying about friendship,
        ” Friendship is like wetting you pants, everyone can see but only you feel the warmth”

        So the insomnia is brought mainly by fear. Fear of my future, fear of my health, fear of my mobility and fear of ending standing in a puddle of my own making while stood in the local store.
        I am winning slowly but surely, one thing in the winter I won’t need to get out of bed on those cold nights for the bathroom. Maybe it will catch on. lol.

        Take care, God bless x

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