If you asked me what I’ve been up to, I suppose I’d say I’ve been getting stronger. And that’s the truth. I haven’t touched a camera in months, I haven’t collapsed and died, nor have I wanted to. I’ve been working hard, picking up the pieces, collecting new and moving along at an earth shattering speed. Well, for me at least.
I’m still waiting for the perfect job to come my way, but slowly realizing that it won’t just knock on my door. I haven’t written in God knows how long. I haven’t given up on my dreams. I’ve been absorbed in them, soaked to the bone. Huz still tries to bully me around, he knows I have a new man and tries to make me feel like shit about it. He told me he missed me. My therapist said he misses being able to control me. I know she is right.
I told him for a long time what I needed from him, he told me I was crazy and unrealistic. He said I’d never be happy.
He was wrong.
I’m in threat of losing my home and I’ve never been happier.
I am free.
I am looking for work. Perhaps I am unrealistic in my efforts, and still limping on the sidelines, but I have faith. In myself, in the universe, in God.
I know I will find my way and all of these lessons I will never forget.