How You Know You’ve Chosen the Right Paint Color

As you’ve probably figured out by now, this has been one big old year of change for me. I finally found the courage to take a stand against my mean husband and ended our 14 year relationship by being firm in the separation, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, lost my job and income of 14 years and pretty much have started a whole new journey in life.

Do I feel sorry for myself at times? You, bet your ass I do, but I’m not letting any of those life altering things bring me down.

In general, I have my good days and I have my bad.

On my bad days, I sit and cry for hours while mourning for my old life, the one that I had with my husband when times were good and the one I had with my body when my health wasn’t bad. I mourn for my career that I had put so much time and dedication into and the pride I felt when I spoke of my successes. I listen to songs that remind me of how I had felt for so long and sob out in sorrow as I sing along.

On my good days, I imagine all the possibilities ahead of me, I realize that I am still so young and I finally have the chance to raise my children in a healthy and stress free environment. I feel strong on my good days and thank the bad ones for making me realize how strong I truly am… Despite being told how weak I was for so many years. I am proud to have broken the cycle that I was too afraid to walk away from and feel excited to think of the kind love I deserve and will find someday. I listen to those sad songs that have cried out my feelings to and feel relieved that I no longer feel trapped in the lyrics anymore.

I tried for so many years to make my marriage work. I thought if I dedicated myself to making it work it would. I did things to change myself, I tried being his perfect wife, to be patient and quiet so that he wouldn’t be so mean all the time. I dragged it out, over and over, telling myself that one day we would just be happy. I thought it took a lot of strength and courage to fight it out and that our relationship would someday become deeper. He only got angrier, more comfortable and cared less. I know that I have given all I had and looking back now I see that I wasn’t very strong until I finally took the stand.

It’s not either one of our faults that we aren’t compatible, we just aren’t and the signs had been there all along. I will always have a love for him and care for him more deeply than can be explained but to be in love with him, that isn’t something I’ve honestly felt in over a decade. That’s not fair to any of us, not to him, to me, or most importantly, to our babes.

Just the other day I thought about all the changes I’ve made to my home. Everything looks so different in here and though I’ve wanted to change things for quite some time, I couldn’t find the inspiration. I think rearranging and redecorating has been a part of the healing process for me. I’ve felt inspired to make changes that suit the life I have desired for so long. A quiet house, a peaceful home. Maybe I’ve made so many changes in an effort to erase all the bad memories, maybe to make me feel stronger, maybe to make us all feel safe.

With every change I’ve made so far when he stops by he doesn’t really say a word. Maybe a shot here and there, but never outright said anything looked bad. Not that I care, because I am making the changes for the kids and I, but I can’t help but take note of his reactions.

Last night, however, was different. He stopped by to switch cars and wandered his way upstairs to talk to Natalie. Then he saw my latest project and wasn’t so happy. I’ve switched rooms with my son and picked a color that my soul gravitated towards. I didn’t ask his opinion as I did in our old room, I am creating the room for me. For my sanity, for my pleasure, and for my peace. He’s not coming back and I believe this change is the one that will make him really start to accept it.

He came downstairs after talking to Natalie and said to me, “That color you picked… You might as well have squirted this all over the walls,” pointing to the mustard on the table. He snarled and tried to make me insecure with his obnoxious degrading laugh,”it’s awful.”

My reply, through an honest smile, was simply, “I love it, it’s the perfect color for me.”

There are still a lot of things I am doing to my new master mistress bedroom, but here is a little preview of the first step. I’ll update as the project moves along, but to waiting to write until it was completely finished would be a very long time. This is going to be bigger than the bathroom project and the most important one in terms of really letting go of the old “me” and moving on.

It’s such a cheerful, solid  color and perfect for a whole new life filled with joy.

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41 thoughts on “How You Know You’ve Chosen the Right Paint Color

    1. Thanks Beth 🙂 I am adding you to my blogroll as it seems you are writing again! Yay! I’m so glad! Would you be able to call me sometime? Maybe Friday during the day??

  1. Ginger–One thing I love about you is that your writing is honest. It’s sometimes difficult to come across honest writers so it is always a pleasure to read your work. The heartache you have gone through and the miserable health issues you are suffering comes through loud and clear without sounding whiny. Way to go, girl!
    And I love the color you chose for your room. I’m in the process of trying to find a new bedroom color for my room too…you’ve given me something to consider rather than the boring sand color I was thinking of…Thanks for a great post and I can hardly wait to see the finished results, no matter how long it takes you…it’s all in the journey, remember, not the destination.

    1. Sylvia, I should write a post about how absolutely insane I am. I am not even going to tell you the huge disaster I have created in my house. Maybe when I can laugh about it I will share but right now I am just scratching my head wondering how I get myself into these messes.
      Thanks for saying I’m not wining. I avoid talking to people just for the fact that I am afraid I will get started on all of my issues. I am feeling more in control now and that is a blessing.
      Sand is a lovely color, all nature colors are beautiful. I keep trying to figure out if this would fit into nature and the closest I can get is a daffodil. I’ll take that though, you know I love flowers and those ones are especially associated with new beginings! I can’t wait to see what color you have chosen!
      ps I can really appriciate the last sentence “it’s all in the journey, not the destination” that is something I’ve only began to learn a short while ago.

  2. I love cheerful colors, my walls in the livingroom are a light golden yellow but I’m thinking of doing a focal wall in my kitchen with an orange shade.

    Now if I could just finish the other projects I’ve already started before starting another one … lol

    1. I have trouble with moving from one project to the next also! The focal wall sounds like a great idea! It will compliment the yellow in the living room also 🙂

  3. So…
    Is it the perfect color because you like it, or because the Hubs hates it???

    ROTFLOL! He just couldn’t handle it could he?

    xo,
    Lynda

      1. Who me? Meanie Pants? Hey, I’m on your side 😀
        Sorry, I guess it’s just my own personal past history coming out…

        Glad you love it though.
        You need to be surrounded by nice and cheerful in your life 😉

  4. You go girl!! I’m so proud of you! I love your spirit and love your choice of color!! Ginger, you have no idea how similar our lives are! I was married for 18 yrs (married at 20 but didn’t have kids till 30) to a mean, alcoholic man, took me 2 years to divorce him, packed up my kids and moved to FL. In my 1st year as a free woman I was diagnosed with the C word. I was not going to let anything keep me down, not even that and pushed thru loving my life and peaceful home. And now 11 yrs later, I’m still loving life and no regrets. I do wish to remarry one day and know that I will when that special guy comes along! Believe me… all your dreams will come true too.

    1. Thank you for sharing that with me! I am sorry to hear that our lives are so similar but I am so glad you told me. I’ve looked up to you for some time now and to hear your positive words gives me a lot of hope. I have a feeling both of our dreams will come true 🙂

  5. I think that the bathroom looks great. I know that it was a lot of hard work, and with a little more effort you will learn how to degrout the floor tiles. I’ll get around to helping you with the tools and SOME instructions, after we get back from Virginia Beach. Dad

  6. I’m so proud of you for leaving him, and staying strong, as cheesy as that phrase is.
    He just wants to hurt and control you. Don’t listen to him, listen to us. The color is wonderful =)

    I think it’s a great idea that you ‘re doing work on the house. It’ll make it “your” house and will also be something you can be really proud of!

    1. Thanks Rai! He totally wants to control everything and I can’t deal with that anymore!
      I agree with your thinking on the house business completely! Cheers and it’s great to meet you 🙂

  7. It is harder to walk into the unknown of heaven than to stay in the known of hell.

    Good for you. I know when my ex and I split up, it was so healing to have a new space of my own, that I decorated and loved just for me. I still remember it with a lovely feeling in my soul.

    Always forward, never back. You can do this.

    1. Always forward, never back… Thank you for that. Thank you for all of your words, actually, you are very encouraging! I hope you are feeling well today and will have a great weekend.

  8. Pfffft, I like it.
    I can’t wait until my husband is done with the Army and we can buy a house with the peace of mind that we won’t get moved and stuck paying for a house in a state we no longer live in. It’s wonderful that you get to do whatever you want to YOUR space.
    Don’t let him make you feel insecure about yourself for any reason. He sounds like a gaslighter.

    1. Yes, he likes to put me (and everyone) down often. Maybe it’s a control thing, I know it kes him feel better about himself. Do you move frequently? Check out the nesters blog (google “the nester”) she rents and shares a lot of tips on beauty and non permanance. I hope you feel great oday!

  9. I think the color’s great, and he doesn’t live there so it’s none of his business anyway. Congratulations on winning another battle with your health and your house. 🙂 PS – I’ve given you a nod over on my blog… If you so choose, read up on it and pay it forward. But no kittens will die if you don’t.

  10. You write so beautifully Ginger. And good god, you really have had a pretty, [read a lot] shitty year!
    Your ex, well, even just from reading your blog… how could he be mean to you, I have a few well chosen words I’d like to use. I won’t.
    ANyway, good call on the painting!most impressed, xx

    1. Thanks Holly. This year has been really bad. I just want it to stop already. I really don’t know how much more I can take, I feel like I’m losing my mind.

  11. Great post! I’ve read in a feng shui book that yellow is the color of health, and I’ve heard yellow also represents confidence. It’s a bright and strong color like sunlight, maybe you are beginning to shine! Congrats on another success!

    1. It’s funny you mention fung shui, I was trying to research it last week. I need all of the help I can get! I did not know that about yellow, it’s good news. Some days I feel happy and positive and other days I just notice how much of a wreck I am. Today I am a wreck. Maybe it will turn around in the next few hours. I hope so because all I want to do now is cry.

      1. I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough day. I hate those days… If all you want to do is cry…then cry. Then do something you love for yourself like take a bath or reread a fun book, or go to your favorite cafe etc. I hope you’re feeling better today, remember, you have so many people’s support through your blog. We genuinely want you to feel better!

  12. I know I say this a lot but I really am SO PROUD of you…
    you are doing a great job though I do it doean’t feel like it just yet but someday you will look back and realise what a couragous amazing woman you are

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