Rock Bottom

The other day my mom told me that everyone goes through periods in their life when everything just goes wrong. She assured me this was normal, and unfortunately this was my time. That’s fine, that is news I can handle but when I asked how long this awful period is supposed to last I really hated to hear her answer “1 year.”

First of all, there are no written rules or scientific evidence that bad periods last for a year, it was just a guess on her part. I even bet she said a year so that I wouldn’t be further disappointed with what ever bad news I may receive or obstacles I will face in the upcoming months. When everything could go wrong it does gp wrong. That’s my motto for 2011 anyway.

I am determined to face these blows courageously and gracefully as I have found that feeling overwhelmed, lost, sad, angry and defeated will not get me anywhere differently. My life sucks now, but if I don’t look at each bad thing as something that could be turned positive I will just fall further down the depression hole.

On Monday it was confirmed by my Rheumatologists that I do, in fact, have Fibromyalgia. All of this time I just wanted to know what was wrong with me. I was thinking that I would feel better knowing what it was and sure that it was Fibro but with in a few hours of replaying the conversation between myself and the two very kind and informative doctors I had a panic attack. While I am glad I had three months to do a ton of research on the disease and find some great resources it still hit me like a ton of bricks. I know it hasn’t even fully sunk in yet. I have a chronic disease, there is no cure, and I am going to be in constant pain for the rest of my life.

I suppose the reason I wanted the diagnoses so badly was that I wanted to be able to start to manage the pain better, get better treatment and suggestions and mentally accept the fact that I need to change my entire life. And boy has my life changed already. In just a few months my whole life has been turned upside down and inside out. A girlfriend reminded me that God wouldn’t give me what I couldn’t handle, and she’s right. I have read a lot of blogs written by fibromyalgics that say how drastically their lives have changed, and surprisingly for the better. That is my goal, to somehow change my life for the better, despite having this nightmare of a disease.

In just a few days, under the right treatment I am feeling positive. The doctors gave me trigger point injections right there in the office, which seem to have move some of my spasms. I feel quite a bit of relief in my shoulder blades and even though my stomach has been clenched and my neck is now twisted the relief in my should blades is welcome. They also gave me another prescription, this one a muscle relaxant and sleeping pill which seemed to help last night. The last thing they recommended was to get a moist heating pad as it would penetrate much better, I didn’t understand how much of a difference it would make but picked one up. Wow, what a HUGE difference. I can hardly believe how much better it made me feel compared to my regular heating pad.

I have a ton of stresses in my life, unbelievable stresses that I am facing and need to get under control but I am not going to write about them now as I feel I”ve said enough. There are a lot of ideas and half way plans bouncing around in my head and I am determined to make the best out of every bad situation that is effecting my life. My goal is to have my life back in control and moving forward to the future by the end of the year. I am working on my other blog and would like to have it up and running in the next few weeks. I’ve decided that I am not going to feel sorry for myself in either blog and work hard to bring a positive and humorous spin back into my life. Humor is the best medicine after all, right? Once the site is fully set up I will be refocusing on my list here with at least one entry a week. Blogging makes me happy, all of you make me happy.

I truly hope you are all doing fantastic and can’t wait to see what you have been up to!

 

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13 thoughts on “Rock Bottom

  1. I’m sorry that life it tough for you at the moment. And that you really do have fibromyalgia. There are lots of things to be sad about, but I’d be willing to bet that there are even more to be happy about.

    I’m sure that in time you’ll begin to be able to look beyond the bad and only see the good. For now though, take your time, in my experience, you can’t rush these things.

    I’m going to send you virtual waves of sparkles and joy now!

    1. Thank you so much, I’ve been keeping up with your suggestion of writing things I am happy for each night, and I really feel like it is forcing me to stay positive. I can’t thank you enough for that suggestion and will always be grateful!

    1. Thanks, I am glad too.. Let the healing begin! All of the instructions I had been given up to this point have been causing more harm than good, unfortunately, but what can you do. I’m happy to be on a better path. 4 months down and 8 to go, you seem to be a very wise man, moms ARE always right… Now if you could just tell that to my kids, we’d all be better off 🙂

  2. Hi Ginger–I think it’s a good thing that you finally received a diagnosis–not what you wanted but surely it is better to know this than to think that you’re just crazy! Hope you find more ways to get relief from the pain and aches that accompany this disease. And you may not always be in pain in the future…from my experience the disease ebbs and flows and there are some really good times and some really bad times along with a lot of so-so times.
    Thinking of you as you go through this journey. I am so glad that you are going to write your blog again on a regular basis–I always look forward to reading it!

    1. Thank you, Sylvia! You should know that I think of you daily and I hang on to your words that it can improve. I had 5 days in a row where it wasn’t taking me over and had a ton of hope come from it. What I’ve learned already is that good days come and go, I better be thankful for them and just hope there will be many more to come.

  3. A good turning point! Maybe consider compiling a blog cookbook of comfort foods that promote good health using your love of cooking, awareness of specific health issues and with a dash of your sense of humour..”antioxidants with an attitude appetizers” etc….

  4. Ginger, I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. You do seem to have the right attitude and thoughts on moving forward, even if its mearly words at this point you are expressing your need to take control of your life again and you will. As you said, your mother is saying one year so that you don’t face disappointment. Your healing will be your journey, take it day by day. There are so many holistic approaches to wellness; I wish and pray for your strength to feel better soon.

  5. So sorry my friend for the diagnosis, but on the bright side you can now begin to deal with it. It will take sometime to sink in but slowly things will become clearer and easier and who knows, they could discover a cure for it.
    Please keep in touch and write often..and if you ever need to talk..I’m here

  6. Ginger, I too like others, wish you well and am pleased you now at least have a firm diagnosis to work your mind and future around. Good thoughts to you x

  7. I am crying for you, Ginger, as if you haven’t done enough of that, already. To hear that you are positive and making plans in a time when you are in daily constant pain that will last just makes me burst with amazement. You are so STRONG, BRAVE, and MOTIVATED! I hope you can find a method, a routine to manage your pain, and I know you will achieve ALL of your dreams, as you so successfully have up until now, too. Love you.

    1. This is great! We can learn together! Have you heard of chronicbabe.com ? It’s a great community that I have joined. I look forward to getting to know you 🙂

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