The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I finally decided to put on my big girl pants and take my car to get checked out. I admit, I was expecting the worst and figured I would wind up with a 300$ repair bill so avoided it for as long as I could. When the check engine light first came on (3 weeks ago) my mom and sister suggested I tried taking it to a place that offered free diagnostic testing, so last Friday I drove to the AutoZone down the street and held my breath as the man plugged his little machine into my car.

I could have kissed the guy when he told me that the part I needed was only gonna be about 40 bucks and offered to put it in for me! Of course, I didn’t kiss the guy but happily bought the part and said thank you more times than I probably should as he put the part in.

Yay! My luck was finally turning around!!

Yeah. Right.

If you believed that then grab a seat in the dummy section next to me.

My luck lasted all of two hours when I got smacked in the face with another bad report from Isaac’s teacher and a 60$ co-pay for my stupid prescription medicine.

Yup, 60 effing dollars.

The pharmacist probably thought I was having a nervous breakdown and maybe she wondered if she should call for an ambulance as I stood crookedly at the counter, hyperventilating and cursing my insurance company in between sobs.

I pretty much threw the money that I was planning to give the gas station at her and then muttered obscenities as I limped through the entire store towards the exit. It isn’t her fault that I have terrible insurance and I feel embarrassed and sorry that I behaved so ill-mannered. The funny thing is that while I was carrying on she didn’t even react, not a blink or a gulp, or a sympathetic face. She must deal with crazy people all of the time.

Then on Saturday my aunt hosted a lovely party for the holiday and I got to spend a few hours talking with my family, some that I had not seen in a few years. I especially enjoyed catching up with my cousins but I was a very dumb girl and thought after I had a few glasses of wine in me that it would be a good idea to go for a walk with them.

Mind you, I went on two separate walks that were not more than a few blocks each but I’m counting these walks as my “Go for a long walk with a friend” resolution because since Saturday at 6:30pm I have been in terrible pain and since have been repetitively saying out loud “I am in hell.”

I feel like I walked 36 miles over rugged terrain or was hit by a mack truck, so those few blocks count as a long walk in my book.

Note to self: You have limitations, accept it. Stop pushing it, doufus.

Yesterday we had court (finally!) and it went well. I think Huz’s attorney was trying to intimidate me at first but I quickly put him in his place.

The Protective Order is in place for 6 more months and I feel good about the other agreements Huz and I came to. I didn’t speak with Huz at all, in fact, I didn’t even look at him in his eyes. He looks so different to me now. So different. I let Isaac go talk to him after we spoke with the Judge and the aggreements were finalized. He came back crying, he really misses his Dad.

I know that Huz loves us and can’t stand for things to be this way but I don’t feel sorry for him at all. He did this. I feel bad for the kids and for myself.

I can only hope that he will take this seriously and get help, as that is the only way he can be forgiven for the disgusting trouble he created for this family. He is allowed to see the kids supervised twice a week and the kids get to decide if they want to spend time with him.

Isaac is eager to be with his Dad, Natalie on the other hand, has inherited Huz’s gripe holding issues and says she doesn’t want to ever see him. Only time will tell, I sure hope she will forgive him and move forward. I am going to encourage her to, but it’s not my responcibility to re-build her trust in him, that is up to him.

Lastly, I want to point out that some meaniehead left a jerky comment on my Back Door post. I posted it and replied to the butt in the most mature and classy way I could.


I debated for a few days whether or not I wanted to put is negative comment up, but hey, he’s entitled to his opinion and real life isn’t all roses and candy. I don’t understand why he didn’t just move along but whatever, to each his own. It’s not like he cursed me out or anything and he wasn’t really all that mean, just a bit rude.

Maybe he’s just having a bad year like me.



30 thoughts on “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

  1. The fact that anyone bothers to take the time to leave mean comments speaks volumes about them. Pft.

  2. Why do people even bother commenting if they are going to say something mean. Why even take the time? I just don’t get it. He is a big stupidhead- your door is awesome.

    I am so happy that court went well. Finally! Yay! That must feel like a great weight lifted off your shoulders. I hope for your kid’s sake, he can get his sh*% together. They deserve better, you all deserve better.

    Also, I love the Q102 icon/image! How funny! I miss Philly so bad!

    It really sucks that your insurance does not cover your medicine. That is really crappy. I can always hop on down to Mexico and pick some up on the cheap if it comes to that 😉

    Hope you are feeling better soon! I am sorry that the two walks really crippled you. Maybe you should keep drinking until you feel better. They say red wine is good for you and I believe it has heeling powers. 🙂

    1. Dacia are you from Philly??
      I am so glad it went well too, and I hope also he can get it together. Fingers crossed! He’s an idiot if he doesn’t!
      Insurance sucks, the whole healthcare system sucks, actually. Thanks for the well wishes, I might have a glass of wine tonight, but there will be no walks for me, I’ve learned my lesson!

      1. Yes, I am from Philly. That’s where I grew up and then moved away for college and grad school, etc but in 2008 Paul and I moved back to the city and lived there until he joined the Army. I miss it every day!

      2. I used to live in South Philly right off of Broad St. on Wolf St, across from Methodist Hospital. I was there when the Phils won the World Series- talk about chaos! That was insanity.

  3. The best practical advice to you since your check engine light came on…please buy yourself the reader that the garages use to determine what the message means for your car. We bought a simple model for about $60 at a local AutoZone here in CA. I hope they sell these at local auto supply stores in PA. The codes mean different things and you go online to decipher what they mean. In my car, this light kept coming on for awhile with different messages and so it made more sense to buy one for our cars since they were going to charge us $60 everytime we needed to go to the garage for the code messages.

    i read on dr e’s facebook notes this morning…upon awakening from a night’s dream she wrote on a post it for the fridge ” be a student, not a victim…who can i help with this hard won knowledge?”

    1. I would love to help other people, once I get my mind in the right place I truly think that is something I will persue.

      AutoZone actually checked it for me for free so I didn’t even need to buy the fancy machine, thanks for the good suggestion though!

  4. See, you always find the silver lining. In everything. And that is why you rock. (talking about the last line you posted.) you should check out my reply to him…haha. I am sorry you are having another rough week, but all of these rough spots are all heading you on the right path and you will get to a good place soon. And then the rough spots will just be minor bumps. Hang in there sweet Ginger!

    1. You rock too, Melissa! We are twins remember 😉 Thanks for sticking up for me with the clown! It is a rough week, but it wasn’t the worse and I do think things are finally appearing to me turning around. Now, if I could just find out what is wrong with my annoying body and get better I’d be incredibly happy! Love ya!

  5. First of all proud of you for handling that comment..I can never get those mean people..
    I’m glad court went well..slowly things will begin to settle down and a new “normal” in your life will be establishes..a brighter, better one…
    in the mean time this transition phase won’t be easy..just hang in their angel..I know it is much easier said than done…but if anyone can do it, you can

    1. Thanks Saswan, I know you received a nasty email a week or so ago and you are the nicest person on WordPress! I was shocked when I read it but you handled it very well. Some people are just outright obnoxious!
      I am SO looking forward to my new and normal life! I know it’s not that far away and I’m not even going to rush it because I want to learn all that I can during this rough experience! I will be a better person for having gone through it if I handle it gracefully! Thanks for being here, love!

  6. Please don’t try any more big walks. That is my only word on the matter.
    I’m sending love and sweet thoughts of the NHS your way when it comes to mental pain over prescriptions! I wish I could send you the NHS in a Ginger size form specially for you!

    1. No more walks, don’t worry! lol
      It sounds very sweet to send me NHS but what is that? I’m sorry, I don’t understand, I know it’s something sweet though because you are a ray of sunshine!

  7. A mixed bag… which is better than a poopy bag that someone puts on your doorstop and sets on fire!

    I’m sorry you’re in pain. But your note to self is good… be kind to yourself – you wouldn’t push a friend too far if she were struggling, don’t do it to yourself.

    You’re doing great.

    1. Yes, poop would be bad!
      You are right about not doing that to a friend, what a great way to look at it, that made a very good point to me, Thank you for your kind words and encouragement!

  8. I am going to have to chat with Nat; I never forgave my father for all of the hurt and torture he put our family through, and I am no better for it. A wise friend once told me, “why keep thinking about them? They get free rent in your mind, and rent is high!” If we don’t forgive, we hold onto that memory for life, when, really, we need to move on and grow.

    1. I was thinking the same thing Beth, and I was concerned but I surely didn’t want to force her. Guess what though, she did end up going and came home in a very good mood. I am very proud of her!

  9. Sounds like it’s been tough lately… I’m sending warm, peaceful thoughts to you and hoping that you have a good weekend!

  10. I’m so proud of you and the positive/strong attitude you’re taking about Huz and his responsibility in all this. So many women take abuse as their own fault, and I think you’re setting a very good example for your daughter. She will grow up knowing she doesn’t have to settle, that she can be strong. Goodunya, there, mom!

    …also, I really like the new header/look. 🙂 very cool!

    1. Thanks Yerttle, I’m surprising myself over here… I don’t know where all of this strength is coming from, but I have a feeling it’s from all of the emotional support and encouragement I’ve been getting!
      My kids have been my motivation through all of this. I don’t want either of them to turn out like either of us.
      Thanks for saying the update looks cool! I was hemming and hawling over writing and usually switching things up gives me new motivation!

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