Last year was really rough on me and I feel like everything should have fallen into place by now and that I could be moving forward in a new and exciting life, but after a long hard look at what is going on here, my therapist brought me to the conclusion that I am still in transition. I felt relieved after realizing that this is what is going on because for the past two months I’ve been feel terrible, assuming that all of this stress and lethargy and aggravation was going to be the rest of my life from now on.

I feel as though I am climbing up yet another very steep mountain and for quite sometime I couldn’t see the top. While I am still not seeing the top, I do feel a grand sense of comfort knowing that it really isn’t to far off.

Does that even make any sense?

I’ll rephrase it in another way that my therapist related it to me. She said to think of it as a snow globe. Back in April of last year, when all of the issues came to a head it was like someone shook a snow globe and all of the bits and pieces of my life where just swirling about rapidly. Chaos and confusion and unstructured. Little by little as time goes by and I implement new ways to live life and create a peaceful and structured environment for the kids and I, the particles (or bits of snow) are starting to settle into place. While all of the bits and pieces aren’t exactly settled and where they need to be, many of them are. The water is calm, it is easier to see the pretty ornament (my family goals) on the inside, and I am just dealing with the few stray particles that haven’t quite found their place.

There are still so many days that pass where I feel angry, bitter, sad and lost, but it’s not every hour of every day and I can pull myself out of the storm when I recognize that I am falling into the easier place to be. Easier? Yes, easier. Sometimes it is just easier to be sad or angry, and my therapist says that it makes sense. She said I should be more compassionate towards myself though because she knows I would never be so hard on someone else who would be in my shoes. I’m actively working on pulling myself out of the bad moods and thoughts and sometimes it can be down right exhausting, but it is making some difference. On the days when I don’t realize or even feel like pulling out of that mood, I am working on allowing myself those feelings, without being too hard on myself.

Resource: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/daily-life-work.html

I have been doing a lot of research looking for ways to improve my self-esteem and come to a better self-understanding. My first step was simply Googling “self-esteem” and I was given a lot of basic hits for self esteem quizes, exersizes, articles, and quotes. While most of the links returned were in-fact about self-esteem, they weren’t providing me with anything that I thought would be truly helpful to my journey.

I thought for a few days after looking through what was available and realized I would need to dig a bit harder. It dawned on me that Oprah is a very confident and powerful woman, who is notorious for helping people build their success, so I turned to her website.

I am very pleased to say that I found what I was looking for.

There is a feature on her website called Oprah’s Lifeclass and I have decided to participate. There are many videos and daily exersizes that can be used in order to give a whole new perspective on life. After poking around for about an hour I believe that this is going to start me in the right direction towards fulfilling my goal of acheiving my greatest self-esteem. I have decided to start from the begining of the program (initally kicked off in October of 2011) and during the next month I will be sharing my daily worksheets with you. I hope to learn about myself things I would have never thought of on my own and emerge feeling more confident at month’s end.

If you would like to also participate in this Lifeclass I encourage you to do so! While the exersizes are saved private to you on Oprah’s website, I’ve made the decision to post my answers here. If you participate, you do not have to do the same, I will just be using these worksheets as writing prompts. I do ask that if you do participate that you will let me know as I’d love to grow along side of anyone who is interested! If you decide that this Lifeclass is something you might benefit from and is something that you will be writing about, feel free to attach your links below so that we can build a community of sorts Of course, if you are going to participate and don’t want to share I completely understand, afterall, this may be a difficult (but hopefully life changing) journey!